When your child is threatening a meltdown in the grocery aisle, is it really possible to keep your cool, correct the behavior, and reinforce healthy development, all at the same time? I'm also a mother, former teacher, the author of the best-selling Ultimate Guide Parenting series, and Founder of Victorious Parenting. So when your child is upset in any manner, if you respond with compassion and kindness, even if you have to hold a line or boundary, you will calm the child. Arguing for connection and attachment, compassion and deep empathy for connecting with children, while also providing boundaries and a safe space for them to grow into independent little kiddies really resonated with me. I actually read The Ultimate Guide to Promoting Positive Self Esteem in Children, but it isn’t on Goodreads for some reason, so I added this one instead.

The bottom line is that effective discipline is much less about what you do and much more about how you are. The provider is confident, all-knowing, and in charge, and supports the child in regulating around their upset in coming to terms with the things in life that cannot be. The hoverer is worried, nervous, and uncertain, and prevents their child from ever having to come to terms with the things in life that simply cannot be. The retort: Do you think when this child is an adult, their boss is going to treat them all nice if they screw up at their job?Written from a whole-person perspective that digs deep into the root causes of behavioral issues and teaches you how to address them.

However it falls short in providing actual practical examples, and seems to be primarily focused on how to deal with tantrums/melt-downs. One plus I will say is that compared to another, similar author I read (Laura Markham who wrote the forward in this book by the way) the scripts given in this book are shorter, more realistic when put into practice. Disclaimer, I work in an organization that teaches classes to adults and teens on relationship skills and emotional regulation, so to be fair to the author, I’m not starting from the level she’s writing to.She explains that we have to look at children through a developmental lens, and breaks down how kids would approach varying situations according to their ages. Instead, it's about moving towards positive leadership and gaining the right tools to become an empowered parent who is in control without being controlling. We know that parenting through fear and emotional and social isolation is not aligned with what contemporary science tells us is good for kids.

Vanessa Lapointe, whose book Discipline without Damage was recently released, argues the science of child neurodevelopment tells us interventions should "reinforce connection, not separation" between a child and a parent. This book not only offers solid advice on parenting through connection, but provides relatable examples as teaching models to help the message get across our "big people" brains. It is difficult to switch to a new modus operandi when all you have is what you have experienced and what sometimes seem to work for others!The reality: Compassionate responding and mindful parenting does not mean “Disneyland-party-time-no-rules-no-boundaries-no-expectations. This was due to being bullied at school that resulted in an incident where he tried to take his own life. I also loved how she offers explanations behind why children act out, and how to calm down situations, rather than ramping them up with yelling and time-outs. Well, let’s take a good look at some of the most common retorts and remarks that will be offered up in response to any kind of suggestion around compassionate parenting, especially when it comes to discipline. Discover the important steps you can take now to prevent destructive behaviors from becoming ingrained in your child.